Gay Ben Tré, D.A.O.M., R.N.
5 Keys to Coping with the Picky Eater
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Picky eating is rooted in the relationship between emotions and the body. Our language demonstrates this connection with expressions like “I can’t stomach that” and “I’m still trying to digest what’s happening.”
Psychologists liken repetitive thoughts to ruminating, which is how ruminants break down grasses and hay. When anxious, we describe feeling “butterflies” or a “knot in our gut.” These descriptions are not coincidental. Our emotional state influences our approach to eating and our physical digesting.
Picky eating in young children and teens (and sometimes adults) is a way for them to control stimulation. It often happens when they are in a growth spurt, are in an unfamiliar environment or grappling with difficult events, life changes, or having to interact with difficult people. Reducing the types and forms of the food they eat is one important way to help them maintain a sense of mastery over their experience.
We can respond to picky eating in a helpful way if we recognize it as an instinctive coping behavior rather than a personal character flaw or rebellion against authority.
1. Understanding Tastebuds and Flavors: “Bland is Better” and “Sweet is Supreme”
- Poisonous foods are often bitter-tasting, which can also be true for healthy vegetables, especially green ones.
- Some individuals, including children, have heightened sensitivity to bitter flavors due to their genes.
- When individuals are anxious, awareness of odors is increased and a picky-eater may be reacting to the smell of a food.
- Nature has given us a preference for sweet foods.
2. Strategies to Encourage Vegetable Consumption:
- Steaming vegetables reduces bitterness compared with serving them raw.
- Mixing small amounts of butter, mayonnaise, honey, vanilla flavoring, or a low glycemic sugar (not sugar replacement) can help overcome bitterness and increase acceptance.
- Adding a little dab of whipped cream can also be effective.
- Leading with sweetness has a calming effect on the brain and body, particularly when someone is under stress.
3. Visual Considerations: “Eating with the Eyes”
- Limiting the number of food items in front of the picky eater to no more than three at a time helps the brain visually process and consume more effectively. A particularly anxious, hungry or tired child or adult is best off with one or two at a time.
- Keeping food choices simple, separate, and in small quantities reduces the energy required for sorting out what is going to be eaten. Avoid serving complicated sauces and multiple components even in one dish. Again, an anxious, hungry or tired child or adult will be less likely to refuse.
- Using cookie or biscuit cutters to shape food items or giving them a recognizable name (like dinosaur trees for broccoli) can make them more appealing.
- Finger foods give children more control, even if they can be messy. The tradeoff may be worth making.
4. Introducing New Foods:
- Young children especially may feel frightened or threatened by unfamiliar foods due to an instinctive response to avoid potentially poisonous substances.
- Wait to introduce new foods until the child or teen is relaxed and happy.
5. Feeding Strategies: “Separate and Simple”
- Offer smaller, frequent amounts of food to prevent prolonged hunger and to stabilize blood sugar levels.
- Extended periods between meals can lead to low blood sugar, brain cell death, and a “feast or famine” pattern that negatively impacts healthy eating habits. Avoid them!
- Providing healthy snacks that include some fat content such as cheese, nuts and seeds, avocado, and olives convinces the brain of safety and allows for future energy storage.
- Be creative in offering acceptable snacks that the picky eater will enjoy.
- Examples of simple snacks include cheese and apple slices, peanut butter crackers, bread and butter, carrot sticks and hummus.
- A good thing to remember is that picky eaters may be very selective but they don’t require a lot of variety or imagination to feed! That means you can figure out just a few snack combinations and stick to them with good results.
Being a picky eater requires being on guard against unwelcome food. Research has shown that specific nutrients can help support the body and brain deal with anxiety and fear. Picky eaters may benefit by taking a dietary supplement with these nutrients 20-30 minutes prior to eating to help them relax. See www.brillianthealth.me/calm-one/science for more information.
The Good News! Most children tend to outgrow picky eating as they reach puberty due to ongoing brain development as well as peer pressure. Meanwhile, it’s important to be patient and have faith that your child will eventually consume what they need, even if it doesn’t happen all on a specific day. If you’re a picky adult eater, you can take control of your diet and relax.
Conclusions
By prioritizing a happy and peaceful environment at mealtimes, you will have a long-lasting positive impact the health and eating habits of everyone in the family!